From Matt Taibbi


The rest of the column is brilliant, too, btw.

Two Cents said...

I decided to sacrifice sobriety for the Lenten season. My sermons have never been better. But today I fell from my commitment just long enough to read this. Back to my cheap Scotch and watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. Its obvious the world of 'single vision' still sucks.

Nicholas Gotelli:

How to respond to requests to debate a creationists


Apparently this sent the man creationist into a tizzy.

From http://scienceblogs.com/dispatches/2009/02/another_classic_worldnutdaily.php :

Another Classic Worldnutdaily Headline

Category:
Posted on: February 20, 2009 9:30 AM, by Ed Brayton

--------------------------------------------------

And comment of the day from a completely different blog:

General, Sir:

"The wanton nature of Madonna's worldwide cult of personality, combined with her exotic promotion via words and images of the "pop" religion known as Kaballah (a Hollywood pop version of the real Kabbalah practised by rabbis),"

How does he know the difference, I think we got us a mole, here, Sir. I propose Holywaterboarding that sumbitch to see what he knows.
(emphasis on the witty part is mine)

This has to be one of the GREATEST moments ever in the history of SNL:

 

Taser to sell MP3/stun gun combo device 

Umm, ... ok....

This is AMAZING!

I just saw this guy on Comedy Central and he was hilarious.  There's lots of overlap in these videos, but....

 I, state your name, do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.

I saw this post with the joke "How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"  The original joke posted isn't all that funny, but there are a few good ones in the comments.  Aside from the standard (but always funny) "Republicans don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in bathrooms," I found this little gem in the comments:



"Three:  Two to hold the lightbulb, and one to hammer it into the faucet."

( Honorable mentions )

Guy at work brought in a chess board that he made (VERY nice).   He mentioned that he he used a couple uncommon woods, including Santos mahogany.  He said that you couldn't get it at normal places like Home Depot, that he had to go to a small local place named Owl Lumber.  "I love that place.  Every time I go there, I get wood."

Yesterday morning started out pretty good (read: put a smile on my face).

As I was leaving town on my way to work, a big, macho pick-up truck came flying up behind me.  As the road merged from 2 down to 1 lane, he passed me on my left, driving over the "median" (the painted lines, not an actual median).  I sped up to try to piss him off a bit, but it was too late and my 4-cyl was not up to the challenge, so he went SPEEDING off.  Of course as usual, my first thought was "Where's a cop whenever this happens?!"  As I very soon crested a hill, I saw the pick-up speeding away and a car approaching from the opposite direction?  A cop?  No, it doesn't look like it.  Wait!  He pulls off to the side and lights and sirens come on.  YES!!!  I IMMEDIATELY pull onto the shoulder; not good as this leaves no room for the cop to turn around since I am right beside him now, so I pull forward a bit on the shoulder.  The cop goes off in pursuit, lights and sirens now OFF.  A mile or so down the road, I see the cop with the offending pick-up pulled off on the shoulder and the officer walking toward the pick-up driver.  I smiled.

Ahhh!!!  Sometimes things work out. 

- Howard Jones

We're not scared to lose it all
Security throw through the wall
Future dreams we have to realize
A thousand skeptic hands
Won't keep us from the things we plan
Unless we're clinging to the things we prize

CHORUS
And do you feel scared - I do
But I won't stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
Wow wow wow oh, wow wow wow oh oh oh oh

Treating today as though it was
The last, the final show
Get to sixty and feel no regret
It may take a little time 
A lonely path, an uphill climb
Success or failure will not alter it

And do you feel scared - I do
But I won't stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
Wow wow wow oh, wow wow wow oh oh oh oh

And do you feel scared - I do
But I won't stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
Wow wow wow oh, wow wow wow oh oh oh oh

In honor of Alberto "Torqemada" Gonzales and now Monica Goodling, I present to you

Peter Gabriel's "I Don't Remember"

( Lyrics )

I don't remember, I don't recall
I got no memory of anything at all
I don't remember, I don't recall
I got no memory of anything
absolutely anything at all
I don't remember


Dear god!!!!  Even if these people weren't completely corrupt, they would still be too stupid and incompetent to do the jobs they've been given (or taken).

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

(instrumental)

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cos everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

(Courtesy of Salon.com)

People keep complaining that there are just too many candidates at these presidential debates. But maybe the problem is that we don't have enough candidates. John Moe, a political pundit over at McSweeney's Internet Tendency, has proposed a slate of 20 candidates for each party. That would be public service enough, but Moe goes even further by giving us the pros and cons for each candidate. Some excerpts are below, but don't stop here. Click these links for the Democrats and the Republicans to read the whole list. You won't regret it. 

The Democrats 

HILLARY CLINTON
Pro: Known commodity; strong fundraiser.
Con: Polarizing; unlikely to woo those already opposed to her. 

JESUS CHRIST
Pro: Could draw some initial interest from the Christian right until they research his actual positions in a deeper way; likable; strong leadership qualities.
Con: Unkempt; pretty far left; messianic complex. 

OPTIMUS PRIME
Pro: Size; power; ability to emit short-range optic blasts.
Con: Potential attack ad: "Sometimes Optimus Prime is a robot, other times a truck. Which is it, Mr. Prime? America deserves a leader that doesn't transform whenever it's convenient." 


The Republicans 

ZOMBIE RONALD REAGAN
Pro: Probably the most Reaganesque candidate available; if stoked with the brains of the living, should operate in an acceptable fashion.
Con: Long-dead eyes lack that magic twinkle; inhuman groans negatively impact "Great Communicator" status. 

DUNCAN HUNTER
Pro: Appears to be some sort of politician who wants to be president, I guess. That's all anyone in the entire nation knows about him, including himself and his family.
Con: Born with two last names, though this liability could be mitigated by teaming with Texas Representative Ron Paul, who is also running. 

NEWT GINGRICH
Pro: Well known.
Con: See above.

-- Michael Scherer

This morning it was storming - thunder and lightning.  But it wasn't rain coming down, or ice/sleet/hail (is there a difference?).  It was "raining" (and pretty hard, too) heavy slush - big, heavy drops of slush.  I can't remember that ever happening before.